PercorsiStupefacenti

Taoism: Shit happens

Confucianism: Confucius says, “Shit Happens.”

Calvinism: Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough.

Buddhism: If shit happens, it’s not really shit.

Seventh Day Adventists: No shit on Saturdays.

Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?

Hedonism: There’s nothing like a good shit happening.

TV Evangelism: Send more shit.

Hinduism: This shit happened before.

Mormons: This shit is going to happen again.

Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.

Christian Science: Shit happens in your mind.

Moonies: Only happy shit really happens.

Stoicism: This shit doesn’t bother me.

Protestantism: Let this shit happen to someone else.

Catholicism: Shit happens because you are bad.

Hare Krishna: Shit happens rama rama.

Jehova’s Witnesses: Knock Knock, shit happens.

Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to Us?!

Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half the time.

Atheism: No Shit.

Existentialism: What is shit anyway?

Rastafarianism: Let’s smoke this shit.